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New parents, second, third or fourth time parents? The chances are, the alone time you have with your partner has most probably reduced since having children. Perhaps you used to schedule time for date nights but now with the children that ritual may have taken a back seat.

We often think that date nights mean we have to go somewhere and do something but that’s not the case. For us, we do not have any family in close proximity and our nanny only works for us in the day time so date nights in our home are our go-to!

At the beginning of this year we took our an A4 piece of plain paper and wrote down a variety of different ideas that we know we both enjoy to do, and then once per week on a Thursday we take it in turns to choose one out of the envelope. We also have a separate envelope of pieces of paper that have written on them, nice meaningful actions that you can do for one another over the weekend. You’d both have to sit and write down a series of things that mean a lot to you and that you’d like your partner to do for you. This can be anything from giving you a foot rub, to giving you a couple of hours to yourself whilst they take care of the kids.

Before we get into the ideas, when it’s date nights here are some rules you need to follow:

No phones! Please respect each others time and needs and leave your phone in a different room or away from your reach, put it on silent to avoid distractions

Date night ideas:

Cook a recipe together, you could even open a bottle of wine, and play some jazz music (here’s our go-to playlist)

Google “fun questions for date night” and take it in turns answering them (you can also find a few spicy ones to get you both in the mood for later) Take it in turns to pick the movie Look for and start a new series

Play a board game (this can be really fun and enjoyable to do, we love “The Game of Life”).

Take a bath together, light some candles, play some music (Frank Sinatra is our go-to bath playlist)

Open a bottle of wine and play a nostalgic playlist, for us that’s 90s hits! This just opens up the conversation path around our childhoods, when we first heard the song playing, what it reminds us of etc.

If you’re both into reading, you could choose a book that you read together that you can then discuss (like your own mini book club)

Whatever it is you choose to do, try to plan it in advance (this is why the envelope hack works well) so then you have time to plan it especially if you’re cooking something new or one of the other ideas which requires preparation. It’s so easy for us to get into a habit of putting anything random on the tv and sitting on our phones and not truly connecting with one another, especially if we are burnt out from work and parenting. But making it a ritual between one another will give you something to look forward to and I guarantee your relationship with thank you for it!



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